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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Heal Pain by Saying "I AM Sorry"

When I woke up yesterday morning my daughter had green gunk coming out of her nose and my first thought was "How can she be sick again?". She had just gotten over 1 1/2 weeks home from school with bronchitis and had only been at school for 4 days. My second thought was, "Oh no, I am SO behind on my blog, projects I am working on, the house, groceries, etc. ALREADY -- how am I going to face this?"

I felt sorry for my daughter, sorry for myself and I did even call my husband (who was on his way to work) to rant, rave, complain and even get a bit teary. But luckily since discovering The Law of Attraction and becoming more aware -- after about a half hour of this I had had enough. I was able to stop myself and say "Ok, Jen you are upset -- but what can you DO about the situation?"

I have been reading up on Ho'oponopono lately. Aaron Potts of Today is the Day has an excellent post on it. I have put it into practice for the last 2 weeks and will share my results soon. But a key point to it is saying you are sorry. Saying the words "I am sorry" can heal you and heal whoever you say you are sorry to. Because I have been practicing this apologizing was the first thing that came to mind.

I knew saying "I am sorry" would heal me and the others I had affected. Sorry to my daughter -- that I was caught up in what her sickness meant for me and not first and foremost concentrating on how to get her better for good this time (well I'd settle for a month) ; ). I wrote my husband an email to say "sorry for unloading so early in the morning -- I know you have enough on your mind -- I will do my best". And then I wrote emails to the people I was supposed to have done work for and said "I am sorry -- I do not have the time to complete these and I will do my best to have them to you when I can". I then said sorry to myself for being so caught up in what I wanted to accomplish that I pushed all else aside, for setting hard to reach time-lines and for getting so upset to begin with. If you haven't apologized to yourself I HIGHLY recommend it. It is liberating and is much better than the "beating myself up about something" that I used to .

By the end of those apologies I felt so much better and healed of my anguish. "I am sorry" are powerful words. My friend Neil Sattin has an excellent post on "How to Apologize effectively".
By apologizing, you are admitting to yourself WHAT you are sorry about and you are taking responsibility for it. By doing that it allows you to move forward. If I had not apologized I would have felt down on myself and disappointed by what was not going to get done. A year ago (before studying the Law of Attraction) it would have wound up as some sort of physical manifestation as well such as a head or body ache.

There are people that have a very hard time saying "I am sorry". Some think it is a character flaw of some kind to admit they were wrong. I believe it takes strength and awareness to stop, notice your behavior and how it effects others and own up to it. If I snap at one of my kids when I am tired or preoccupied I will say I am sorry. How else will they learn to apologize when they have done something wrong? When you say you are sorry you are letting go of any feelings you may have of disappointment, hurt and pain. When you say "I am sorry" to yourself you can truly move on and get over what has been stewing and exaggerating in your brain.

Look at it from the other side and think of how you feel when you get an apology. Doesn't it feel so good to have someone apologize to you and to admit what they are sorry for? I know when I say "I am sorry" to my kids their eyes light up with joy. If I did not send messages out apologizing for being late with work -- the people I am doing work for might have thought I forgot, was lazy or just didn't care. Instead I got understanding messages back thanking me and telling me it was okay -- to take my time.

The next time you are upset with yourself for something you did or didn't do or say why not stop and take a minute. Think about what you are sorry for and say "I am sorry" to the person it affected as well as yourself and see how that makes you feel instead.

5 comments:

Mike said...

Well now that is a new angle for me, very interesting! I will take a look at that link!
Thanks for sharing!

Mike

Jenny Mannion said...

Hi Mike, Apologizing does work wonders. Definitely check out the articles by Aaron Potts and Neil Sattin! Thanks for the comment. : )
Jenny

Danny said...

I try my best to forgive others & myself, helps to leave the hurt behind, but can still come back for a visit from time to time - then its time to forgive again! :)

Jenny Mannion said...

Hi Danny, Thanks so much for commenting. Yes, to notice the things you are sorry for is OK. It helps you realize what you would do differently. Best not to linger there though. Notice it for the experience and take note of what you have learned but TRULY forgive yourself and others -- that's the best way to heal. No one is perfect and what a boring life it would be if everyone was! Please visit again. Gratefully, Jenny

Viagra Online said...

I had a problem in the past and it made that I feel worry everyday and everything I did I feel afraid about it but when I said sorry It was like if I had 20 years less.

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