Do you believe the Law of Attraction is just a bunch of new age nonsense? Have you tried it but “it didn’t work for you”? If so it is possible you have not really understood what it is all about and/or you are “stuck” and need to rethink your approach a bit. While the movie “The Secret” brought the Law of Attraction mainstream (and I will forever be grateful because it introduced this law to me) – it had its limitations. It concentrated on monetary gain and did not amplify just how important ACTION was. The Law of Attraction has been called other names but has been talked about for centuries. You can read other texts to look at it a bit differently and study it further as I did. You can also look over my list of 7 Reasons the Law of Attraction isn’t working for you and see where you are “getting stuck” in applying it for manifestations. I hope this post will help alleviate some of the “woo woo” around the Law of Attraction and show that this is practical advice to apply to ALL parts of your life.
1) Resistance vs. Acceptance
As the quote by Carl Jung says “What You resists persists”. Are you hesitant to take responsibility for your life as it is now? Do you tend to say “but the law of attraction can’t be true because of x, y, or z”? Do you try and come up with all kinds of scenarios in which “the law of attraction can’t work?” Accept that you are responsible and have created your life so far. Don’t judge, argue with yourself or get “stuck” in the negatively such as guilt, shame or anger that this may bring – resistance and negative emotions will push things away from you instead of propelling them towards you. If you want to read about this law put in different ways by well respected authors please read, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and/or “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr. Joseph Murphy.
What you are telling God/The Universe by Resisting:
If you are putting all your attention and energy into saying “This can’t be true or work” – guess what? So be it! You are telling the Universe that you do not want to manifest things by using this law and the Universe will reply by keeping things from you.
Instead:
Look at this as an opportunity to look at the past as life lessons and move on – suspend your “judgment” and just accept it – there is SUCH freedom in this. Your Life Begins Now and is no longer just what has happened up until this point! I found self forgiveness a good place to begin.
2) Self-blame vs. Self forgiveness
Yep, when I looked at 6 years of missed events, medical tests, doctor visits, missed time with my children and just how sick I was for so long I felt pretty horrendous. I could have stayed in that space -- but really I had felt badly long enough with all my illnesses. To dwell there would not accomplish anything except me missing more of my life. I had to forgive myself and I did this through meditation, journaling and Ho’oponopono. I did not consciously bring these dis-eases on myself. The illnesses and pain came because I wasn’t listening to myself or dealing with issues as they came up but was instead internalizing them. My sub-conscious created these dis-eases for me to start paying attention – it took six years but I did finally “get it”.
What you are telling God/The Universe by Self-Blame:
“I am not worthy” “Look at all I have done/said/been up until this point – I deserve to be unhappy”.
Instead:
Find a way to forgive yourself. Whether it is through writing letters to yourself to get it out, writing down life lessons learned, thinking about what different experiences taught you, by using any of the methods I used above or many of the other “letting go or clearing techniques such as EFT, SFT Awareness or The Sedona Method”. Whatever “works” for you and resonates… it is time to move on….Self Forgiveness brings a sense of peace and leaves you open for the next one that is important…
3) Self Loathing vs. Self Love
Are you your worst enemy? Are you scared because when you DO stop to listen to your self talk all you hear is you insulting yourself and saying things like “I can’t”, “I’m not smart enough, good enough….” These are programmed messages that you don’t even necessarily believe deep down. You are just so used to hearing them and acting accordingly that you don’t even doubt them for a second. You are letting them limit what you really ARE capable of.
What you are telling God/The Universe by Self Loathing:
“I am not worthy”. “I don’t love myself so how can anything good come to me?” “I’ve been told these negative things all my life – that means I MUST be them”.
Instead:
Time to congratulate yourself, you have stilled your mind enough to actually HEAR what your self-talk is saying. This is the first step to consciousness and being aware. Every tiny moment of consciousness is a chance to change the messages in your head. It’s time to concentrate on what you CAN do and find your strengths instead of concentrating on your weaknesses. Nurture and love the things you are good at! You are only limited in potential if you tell yourself you are. Oprah Winfrey started out in poverty and was sexually abused at an early age… if she had kept telling herself “I can’t” many people in this world would not have benefited from her generosity and lessons... which leads to my next point:
4) Blaming others vs. Forgiveness of Others
I love Jack Canfield’s way of looking at this in “The Secret” audiobook…. Most people have come from some form of tragedy or dysfunctionality in their lives, “divorce, sexual, physical or emotional abuse, lack of love…” Jack Canfield says that is what he calls the “so what?!” It’s what you do NOW that counts. I had a friend in high school that was sexually abused by his grandfather ten years previously. He used this fact to explain ALL his shortcomings…. If we had an argument over something silly he would automatically say “well I was sexually abused by my grandfather you know”…. This got old pretty fast… I would be left thinking, “Um, you were an hour late because your grandfather sexually abused you 10 years ago – huh?” I know he had been to therapy to deal with it and I also know he had to see his grandfather and talk to him like nothing happened. I do not mean to belittle his situation but by staying in that state of blame and non-forgiveness he was hindering his growth and healing to move forward with his life.
Forgiveness can seem impossible sometimes – how do you forgive the unforgivable? Well, there have been parents who forgave their children’s killers and many other monstrosities. Forgiveness is always possible. It is not saying you approve of what happened by any means… Time to pull out my favorite Dr. Deepak Chopra quote again, “You must realize everyone is doing the best they can from their own state of consciousness”. It does not excuse it but it allows you to accept it happened and it is done….
What you are telling God/The Universe by Blame/Non Forgiveness
“This person/thing/event has me stuck here. I will never grow because this terrible thing happened and it is this person/thing/events fault I won’t evolve.”
Instead:
The fact remains if you are carrying around blame for someone – you have suffered long enough. Only forgiveness will set YOU free. Blame and hatred are two very low energy emotions and they will not help you get to where you want to be. Find a means for forgiveness that resonates (See #2 self-forgiveness) and get to it so you can reclaim and move on with your life. Which leads to the next:
5) Wishing vs. Concrete Goal setting
Okay so you have learned about the law of attraction -- are you sitting around saying “I want a lot of money” and not doing anything about it? Are you telling yourself JUST wishing it will make it true? Sorry, but as James Ray of “The Secret” says, “they will come and take your furniture away….”.
Or maybe you feel you have been “working so hard” and nothing is coming…. That’s the problem right there – you should not feel like you are “working so hard” and by telling everyone including yourself “how hard it is to make a living” you are calling that to you. When you look at your gifts and know you want to bring them into the world but have no clue “how”…. Give up the how for now but set concrete mini goals in moving forward. I’ve called them mini goals before and they are baby steps to help propel you forward. If you are taking action in the right direction the right people and places will present themselves to you. You have to be conscious and aware for the little nudges called “intuition” and follow through. You cannot give up at the first sign of a set-back because that is showing you do not have the belief in yourself that you can achieve your goals. Edison redesigned the light bulb hundreds of times before it worked… thank goodness he didn’t give up!
What you are telling God/The Universe by Wishing and Not Taking Action
I WISH these things will happen is the same as saying you do not believe you yourself have the power to make them happen. You are saying you do not believe in your own power but rather WISH someone would just take care of things for you. You are not taking the time to discover YOUR unique gifts but are just hoping blindly for a miracle.
Instead:
Set those goals, visualize how you will feel when you do establish them and let those emotions propel you forward into inspired action. Set mini goals such as:
-- talking to someone else who has done what you are trying to do
-- finding out more about occupations in your interests
-- spending 5 minutes doing affirmations telling yourself you will achieve your goals
-- meditating 5-10 minutes a day to start
-- educating yourself further on interests and believe you can do it which is the next step….
6) Disbelief vs. Belief
Do you have disbelief that you can do whatever you set your mind to no matter WHAT the circumstances or "odds" seem like? Do you have a bad case of the “buts”:
“But this can’t happen because…”
“But this is too hard”
“But I just can’t believe I could do it”…..
Guess what? You have just damned yourself to repeat your current situation over and over. There are no buts! I can’t explain exactly WHY I knew I could heal myself when I saw The Secret but I KNEW it deep inside. I now believe I knew it because this was my time to heal. I did not know if I would be as healthy as my young self. I did know by adopting habits that served me and becoming conscious I would feel tremendously better than I did at the time. This “belief” helped me tremendously. Even as I dealt with all my past “stuff” such as forgiveness, self love, being ungrateful, etc. I knew I was confronting it for a greater purpose and that purpose was healing from the inside out.
Continued belief and faith is important as well. I was not “judging” my healing or did not put a time frame on it. You have to believe that God/The Universe/Source knows what’s best for you and as long as you are taking action and moving forward the right things will be delivered to you as you need them. That “perfect” job may not have been so perfect… that “perfect” mate might have more skeletons than the Natural History Museum…. TRUST and BELIEVE that as long as you are doing your part – even what looks like a set-back at first might be what was needed to bring your biggest gift later. It takes time to develop new habits – especially if you have been on autopilot as long as I was! ;-) Be patient with yourself and celebrate each mini success – you are moving closer to awareness.
What you are telling God/The Universe by Disbelief
“I KNOW better than you what is good for me and HOW things should happen.” “Life is Hard” and I know the order things MUST go in for me to get anywhere.
Instead:
Believe you can do anything you set your mind and heart to. Accept that you are a powerful being and you do deserve the goodness that is going to come your way. Do not stray from this belief or if you do – re-center and believe again… Believe that “when you change the way you look at things – the things you look at will change” (Thank you Dr. Dyer for my favorite quote). A good way to start believing and empowering yourself is the last and final step; gratitude.
7) Ungrateful vs. Gratitude
Are you concentrating on everything you don’t have? Are you wishing you could have more but in a desperate kind of – “I KNOW I’ll never have more” kind of way? I know I was queen of concentrating on what I didn’t have. When you don’t have your health you can lump a lot of other things in right with it (friends, good times, feeling energetic and alive…).
It is interesting to me the lessons I learned from my husband’s real estate business here in upstate NY and from when we were looking for houses here. For the most part, the “poorest” people had the most “stuff” -- disorganized sometimes but MANY had tons of “things”. Most of these people were quick to point out they had nothing and no money to acquire anything. They did not see their magazines, clothes, toys and belongings as things to be grateful for – most were too busy being caught up in “what they didn’t have”. The wealthiest people we have come across have less “stuff”. Their houses have a zen-like quality. Ours has begun to take on that quality room by room the last year as we sell and donate things. If you have a lot of “stuff” – it can give you the feeling of being disorganized, overwhelmed and sends the signs out to the Universe that “you have more than enough and no room for more things”. I used to want to keep ALL of my books. Now I take great joy in passing them on. Yes, I will keep a few but I did not need hundreds lying around that I would probably never look at again.
What you are telling God/The Universe by Being Ungrateful
I have more than enough! I can’t handle or appreciate what I have. No more stuff please!
Instead:
You NEED to shift to the feeling of gratitude. What DO you have? Do you have a pet you love? Family? Friend(s) even one true friend is worthy of TONS of gratitude…. A roof over your head? Music that makes you happy? An easy time breathing? The ability to walk, see, hear, taste, feel? A safe environment? Concentrating on these things for even a minute a day will shift your mood and energy.
Pay attention to the areas of your house that have accumulated “things”. Do you feel overwhelmed when you go into a room? By giving things away you are not only helping others, you are acknowledging that you are grateful and see the things you have been given. You are clearing space for more things to come into your life.
CONCLUSION:
If you put these steps into action in your life you will become more conscious and be calling forth abundance. The Law of Attraction is at work and perhaps if you look at some of the more monumental events in your life (“good and bad”) you can see what led up to them, process and let go of them and learn how to move forward. I will be forever grateful for my illnesses and dis-eases because it led me to where I am right now. I might not have found my passion for teaching others about healing and consciousness if I had not been ill – and to date this is the greatest gift I have been given. My healing came when it was best for me to come. My love of helping others combined with writing for my blogs almost feel dreamlike to me because they come so effortlessly. I have ultimate confidence in myself to succeed in all areas of my life because I am awake… no not all the time… I have my moments – I am human! Consciousness does not come to most of us like it came to Eckhart Tolle (in one moment when he was close to taking his own life). It is a slow process…. Do not judge and berate yourself on the mis-steps (Appreciate ALL the Moments Not Just the Good Ones) but be sure to congratulate yourself on the positive…. Become your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy and you will attract riches in all areas of your life in many different forms.
I know the Law of Attraction works because I have seen it transform my life and many others. For real life examples and stories of manifestation please check out the book my story is in (as well as 50 others) “Living the Law of Attraction”. Sometimes you need to read “proof” and inspirational stories to have that “A-Ha” moment. I am now expanding my coaching practice and will include a free copy of “Living The Law of Attraction” if you sign up with me as your mind/body mentor. I also offer a free ½ hour consultation with any purchase of my e-book. I welcome comments and contact via comments on this blog or emailing me at jennymannion@yahoo.com.
Other Related posts:
“Do I Have to Stay Positive ALL the time for the Law of Attraction to work?”
“What do I do when someone important in my life does not believe in the Law of Attraction and I do?”
“Living the Law of Attraction – Real Stories of Healing and Manifestations”
30 comments:
While I enjoyed reading self help books, my life did not change until I watched The Secret movie. Sure it turned out to be more of a marketing ploy but I could not deny the good that it prompted me to do. I began to appreciate the abundance that I've had all along, while working on my negative issues. I've never been happier since. Things have been working better and better since and I am moving towards living to my fullest potential!
Wonderful post and dead on. I am printing this. Many people should and read it over and over. A lot of the principle you introduce are all about being open. You can't attract if you are not open. Keep up the wonder blog. You are clearly passionate.
Thank you, Jennifer. Excellent insights.
blessings to you and all you hold dear,
CG
Hi Evelyn,
I am glad you were able to see the good in the movie The Secret as well. For me the sections on health and gratitude hit home and changed the way I looked at everything from that point on. The point I am trying to make (which you GET) is that it really doesn't matter if you agree with all of "The Law of Attraction" or "The Secret".... By utilizing the philosophy it can help anyone better their lives, get past the past and move on to live their fullest potential.
I am so grateful you are increasing your happiness (as I am)because BOY are you a talented writer! You offer a lot to this world with your voice and way of looking at things and I am very happy we have "met".
Thanks for commenting Evelyn.
Love,
Jenny
Hi Bronx the Dog,
Yes, being open is key. I am one to say (quite often these days) that I "know nothing". The more I learn the more I realize that I don't know and I am FINE with that. It makes me want to learn more and be more open for new possibilities and knowledge. If you shut yourself down or feel you KNOW everything about something you can miss out on so much.... something could be right in front of you but you won't see it because of "tunnel vision". My older post "The Awareness Test" proves this... http://healpain.blogspot.com/2008/03/awareness-test-where-is-your-awareness.html
Oh yeah, I am passionate all right! ;-) What's better than learning, reading, writing and helping others?!
I am honored you would print out my article. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Gratefully, Jenny
Hi CG,
Thank you for reading,commenting and for your blessings! Most of this post came to me in a rush of thoughts so it was very important for me to get it written and "out there" for my readers! Learning about all of this has changed my life and opened me up for unlimited potential. I look forward to hearing many more success stories as others apply these and similar methods to their own lives.
Gratefully, Jenny
Hi Jenny - First of all, belated congrats on your first year of blogging (and thanks for mentioning me in that post). I thought I left a comment at the time but it doesn't seem to be there. I probably previewed and then forgot to post - a favorite habit of mine.
Thanks for this post too, which I'm sure many people will find useful. I think my own impediments to the conscious use of the loa are your number 5 (problems with concrete goal setting) and a vague brooding negativity which is really feeling rather than thought, but I suspect is a bit of all the others rolled into one! I guess Eckhart Tolle would call it the pain body. I'm working on it with Ho'oponopono (which I think is wonderful) and anything else I can lay my hands on.
I do think that non-attachment to goals is also important. If I can put to one side my ego's desire to succeed and align myself with the flow of life, I find that everything goes much more smoothly.
Keep up the good work!
Wonderful post, Jenny!
It's a pleasure to see you utilizing the Law of Attraction for yourself and for the people around you.
Jenny, you are amazing!! The time you take to craft your posts into masterpieces and getting us to take notice is awesome.
Self-talk can take over quite easily if you let it. Forgiving oneself is key to making it all work for you. The Law of Attraction is very practical and simple (not easy) to use. By writing down what you want and taking steps towards it brings everything together for you.
Thanks for another great article :)
Hi Jenny, I just love your posts. So insightful.
In category #2 - self-blame vs. self-forgiveness, you mentioned the process letting go or clearing techniques. One of my favorite movies to remind me to let go is called, The Legend of Bagger Vance. In the movie, they referred to it as laying it down. It's time to lay it down - you have carried it long enough.
My other favorite reminder to let go is this one.
"Be like a cat, shed a lot." I wish I knew who wrote that.
Keep up the great blog writing.
Hi Simon,
Thanks for the congrats and for your thoughtful comments.
That damn pain body! ;-) Yes, it can grab us sometimes but if you are cognizant of it you are more than halfway there! As long as there are a few techniques you can use not to dwell and let it take over indefinitely -- I think it is fine. I still find mine raising its ugly head sometimes but the best thing now is I KNOW "it won't last". This KNOWING provides a kind of calm and allows me to process WHAT got it all riled up in the first place and to try and learn from that experience and move on.
Goal setting can be tricky and I like to set (and write down)goals and mini goals in ALL areas of my life: physical, financial, emotional, relational and spiritual. That way if I do get "stuck" in one area -- I can "let it go" for a bit and switch my concentration to the other... I always feel like I am moving forward and am not concentrating on "where I am stuck".
You're so bright Simon -- no doubt in my mind you are moving forward... and THAT is something worth reminding yourself of daily and celebrating! It took me 6 years to "hear" what my body was telling me with my illnesses and I make sure I pat myself on the back EVERY day for how far I have come!
Always so nice to hear from you! Thanks again!
Love, Jenny
Hi Akemi,
Thank you! Learning about the Law of Attraction has changed the way I look at the world around me and my part in it! It is a joy to share my knowledge and journey with others. Writing is something I have always loved but never in my wildest dreams imagined sharing in such a public way.
i Always love to hear from you Akemi and am very grateful to know you and for your reading which has helped me tremendously!
Love,
Jenny
Hey Ange,
Thanks so much for the compliments! This post was one that just kind of "came out" and boy do I LOVE when that happens! :-)
You hit it on the head when you said the law of attraction is simple but not necessarily easy. Changing years of habits takes time, energy and the belief that it is important enough to follow through no matter what the set backs may be. For me looking back to the way I felt with debilitating pain was enough motivation to keep moving forward but I can understand how people get "stuck" with applying some of these techniques. Sometimes the emotional gunk you dig up is difficult to process and it seems easier to resume life as it was.... The rewards and the self confidence that come with KNOWING YOU changed your life for the better makes any "processing" that needed to be done well worth it.
Always wonderful to receive a comment and visit from you Ange! Thank you!
Love, Jenny
Hey Cory,
Thanks for the VERY kind words and the awesome quotes -- that must be because you are THE quote master! :-)
I love those images of "laying it down" or shedding! I like to imagine children being taught coping and letting go methods early on -- what a beautiful world that would be! There are so many wonderful techniques out there for getting rid of the belief/emotions/habits that do not serve you. The first step is KNOWING you are better off without those feelings and that you will move forward by "shedding them".
Thanks Cory! :-) Love, Jenny
I have an open mind about the LoA. However, what I don't have an open mind on is the strength of belief. If we have enough belief in ourselves then we can do the kinds of things that make the LoA seem reasonable.
Hey Tim,
Yes I agree that belief in ourselves is key. With that comes belief we are worth the work that might have to be done to overcome whatever might be "holding us back".
With self-esteem and self-love -- belief comes easier and we KNOW we are worthy of goodness and abundance in all areas.
This was one of the places I lingered in my healing longest.... I was a "yeah BUTter -- BUT there are so many people SMARTER than me that offer more, BUT who will read what I write?".... In a recent interview for something I really want I was able to say "I am smart" and part of me almost fell over than I was able to verbalize it and not hang up the phone shaking afterward. It feels wonderful to have belief and confidence in yourself and BELIEVE you deserve the best!
Thanks so much for commenting Tim! Love, Jenny
Hey Jenny, great post. 4 and 5 were particularly bang on, and 6 and 7... the whole thing. :)
Hi Ariel,
So nice to see you here! I just subscribed to your blog and am really enjoying it. Thanks for commenting and I am very happy you enjoyed my post. Looking forward to getting to know you. Gratefully, Jenny
Taking 'Responsibility' for all of our own creation should be this write summary. Can't wait to read your next post :)
All above radiating excellent insight make this post more perfect. Thank you all.
Thanks Susanno, Yes taking responsibility is key but is not necessarily "easy". For me it felt like freedom, "you mean all I have to do is un-do the unhealthy thoughts and emotions I have had and I can un-do my illnesses and this horrible pain? I'm in!" There is no shame in owning up to your life as it is now -- life is many learning experiences and a journey. I am VERY grateful I learned how to be aware and control my thoughts and emotions when I did and for all my life lessons learned. Thank you for commenting! My kids start school late next week so after that my posting should increase! Gratefully, Jenny
Jenny,
Well said. So many people feel that LOA doesn’t work after they “practice” it for one day. I especially love tip #7 to be grateful for what you presently have in your life. Nice post!
Sandra
Hi Jenny - like you it took me a long time to get it. I should have concentrated on moving on and thinking it's what I do now with my life that matters - as you explained.
But I kept telling myself that my life was ruined, because I'd been ill for so many years. It was very self destructive.
The turning point for me was reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill about 11 years ago. That introduced me to the law of attraction and really helped me move forward.
Hi Sandra, Yes gratitude is key. Whenever things "get rough" in our lives it is especially important to remind ourselves of those things that mean so much that we overlook as we concentrate our energy on what "isn't working". 5 minutes a day of feeling grateful helped me SO much in the beginning to shift my mood and still helps me every day to get up with a smile. Thanks so much for commenting. Love, Jenny
Hi Cath, I repeated those same messages "my life is ruined, I will never be able to do ....." The doctors told me I wouldn't ever be better and I never thought to doubt that. Like you, "Think and Grow Rich" really helped shift my focus and that was one of the first books I read after seeing "The Secret".
I am so grateful we are both doing well and the Law of Attraction came into our lives when it did. Thank you for reading and commenting. Love, Jenny
Thanks for your advice and encouragement, Jenny!
Hey Simon, You are QUITE welcome! My pleasure! :-) Love, Jenny
Jenny, you wrote everything I ever thought about The Secret. I too am forever thankful to that little book called The Secret. When I first read it, not only did I think the book was written with a monetary gain in mind, but it failed to talk about action. Before the laws of attraction could work, one must first work towards activating at least 1 action, then and only then will something happen.
Excellent post!!
Hi Bruno! Missed you! Hope you are doing well and thank you so much for your nice comments. Very happy to hear we had similar experiences with The Secret. Let's work together soon. My youngest starts kindergarten tomorrow and I will have TIME for the first time in 10 years -- can you tell I'm excited? Don't let it fool you though I'm sure I'll be crying saying goodbye to her and miss her... but it marks an important shift in my own life -- to MYSELF!
Thanks again for commenting. Love, Jenny
Dear Jenny,
Thank you for such a great post about the Laws of Attraction- So many people think that you if you wish it, it will come automatically. It not as simple as that. Successful people are always moving in the direction that they want to move in, and put themselves in the right frame of mind and timing is everything. I myself appreciate all the things i have, and being grateful in itself is so important. Thank you for such a a great post- N.J
Hi NJ,
You are so right... it isn't that it is HARD but sitting around wishing and worrying about things isn't going to bring it closer to you. Successful people know to keep on moving in the direction they want to manifest in even if they hit some bumps along the way - that is part of the process!
Gratitude is so KEY and once you get in the practice of paying attention and showing gratitude all sorts of goodness shows up in your life! I am so happy you enjoyed my post and commented! Thank you! Gratefully, Jenny
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