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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When the Student is Ready -- the Teacher Will Come

I have heard the above quote so many times in my life and at least ten times in the last week. Okay Universe -- I am listening and this is a WONDERFUL topic for me -- thank you! This quote is so true and I love reflecting back on how this was integral in my healing. It continues to be true and a part of my growth. As I learn more I become more open and the opportunities to keep receiving knowledge continue to present themselves from various "teachers".

While ill I was resentful, felt "why me", was a victim of my illnesses and I let myself be defined by my illnesses. I was Jenny -- "the chronically ill and chronically in pain mommy". I THOUGHT I was helping myself by going to forums to learn more about my illnesses and to bond with other people with similar conditions. I was reading books constantly about suffering, chronic illnesses and disease. I was looking into medical research being done on my conditions. I was also researching what ELSE my diseases would lead to. I talked to people who had my conditions much longer than I had them and used them to judge how I would be ten years down the line. I assumed I would be on JUST as many medications as they were and my body would probably start to get very heavy from the medications and the lack of exercise because I would be unable to move. I totally pictured my life as the doctors and others with illnesses said it would be; depressing, limited mobility, most likely in a wheelchair and with tons of pain. I received the pain and misery in abundance.

I had fought taking pain killers and anti-depressants for years because I did not want to be a mommy on pills and driving my kids around while under the influence of pain pills. I grew up in New York City and had seen my fair share of addiction and it was always something I was paranoid about. In college when I smoked cigarettes I would make myself stop for a few weeks "to prove I could" and there was never a doubt in my mind that after college I would be a non-smoker. My pain worsened and while I was able to still hold out from taking anti-depressants I started taking pain killers and feeling guilty about it the whole time. Part of me was still yelling at myself that I should be able to get on with life without them but the truth was I could barely get out of bed without them. I was passing out in the shower from pain, crying daily in agony and taking the pain pills did allow me to get on with my day and "get stuff done". Honestly they made me feel high on life -- like anything was possible, the pain was gone or minimal and I was hyper and full of energy for 4 hours -- then I would crash and face the moral dilemma of "Do I take another one or two so I can function or do I wallow in my pain?" I WANTED to feel better and was feeling more and more guilty about the pain pills (especially as my daily dosage needs were increasing) but was told by doctors this was how my life was going to be. The more pills I took the more guilty I felt and the more I was wishing there was an alternative.

My yoga-dance teacher was the first to tell me about Susan Sark. She knew I loved writing poetry and journaling and was surprised that I had not heard of her. I put a few of her books on my amazon wish list and received them as birthday gifts August 2006. From the moment I picked up her first book, "Succulent Wild Woman" I loved Sark's writing and it resonated. I also received "Sark's Journal and Playbook" where she gives ideas on WHAT to write about. I had journaled on and off throughout my life but in the last few years writing had just become a means for me to vent. I would go back through my journals and find that it was one complaint and horror health story after another. Sark showed me there are a lot of OTHER things to write about! She talks about her survival of sibling incest and how journaling helped her to heal. She tells you to write down friends that you are grateful for, favorite books, dreams, favorite inspiring things, "gorgeous moments" and oh so many more!. She became my first teacher in healing and I believe put me in the right space to receive my next teacher.

When my husband bought me "The Secret" for Christmas 2006 I was very happy to receive it. My good friend Alissa had been telling me about it for months and I really was excited to watch it. After watching it there was not a doubt in my mind that I would heal myself. How was it possible I had a BA in psychology, had taken graduate classes in psychology and had never heard of the Law of Attraction? I watched "The Secret" a few times and knew it was a turning point in my life and that I needed to gain more information. I started with the people who really resonated with me throughout the movie which led to me also wanting to learn more about the mind/body connection. The more I wanted to learn the more opportunities and teachers presented themselves. I considered Dr. Deepak Chopra a wonderful teacher through his books, audios and videos and ingested as much information as possible. Dr. Wayne Dyer also became a very important teacher to me as I poured through his books, videos and audios.

I started to heal so quickly it did seem like a miracle to me. Shifts were happening daily and I was amazed at how quickly some of my habits changed (of course some took a little longer ;-)). I decided I would write an e-book on my experience and I also decided it was time to start learning about the internet again so I could market my e-book. I knew I wanted to get my message out to others and that I wanted to help others to do what I did. I quickly found the FREE internet marketing course the thirty day challenge and my love of blogging was born. I started blogging as a means to sell my e-book but quickly realized it was MUCH more than that. I LOVED writing, I LOVED communicating with people about my passions (healing naturally and non-violent computer games for kids), I loved that I was now entering a field where learning constantly about how to better myself would be integral to my success, I loved the people I met from the start and I KNEW I had found what I wanted to be when I grew up! ;-)

Now I find teachers often in the blogs I read regularly and the new ones they lead me to or that I find. My mind is opening up to more and more possibilities and I have few if any self-limiting beliefs. I still have a ways to go in a lot of areas in my life -- I'm still a RECOVERING perfectionist, hope to develop a steady exercise plan that sticks, want to learn tons more on meditation and quieting my mind and have other areas that "need work". The best thing is I am READY for my teachers now. I am open and ready to receive and am so excited at the prospect of learning even more than I have over the last year.

Let's look back -- so if I had not been so ready for receiving Sark, I probably would not have been in the right place to receive "The Secret", which led to my healing through reading Dr. Chopra and Dr. Dyer among others, which led to me wanting to write and discovering the GREAT teachers of the thirty day challenge, which led me right here where I am now... thoroughly enjoying writing, empowering others and learning every day how to be a better person and live an even MORE fulfilling life. It is easy to see how once I was ready the teachers did come and continue to. I am so grateful for every step of the way and am so excited to see where I will go.

My life in 2007 was spectacular. I grew more spiritually and intellectually than I ever had in any other (or maybe even ALL all of my 38 accumulative) years. You need to open yourself up and be ready to learn for the teachers to present themselves. Are YOU ready for a teacher? What self-limiting beliefs do you have that you can start to work on getting rid of? What do you feel you could do to help you be more ready to receive? Once you start receiving it just leads to more goodness and more knowledge and teachers presenting themselves.... Thank you to all my teachers who enabled me to get where I am today -- my heart is truly filled with gratitude and love. I cannot tell you what it means to be healthy and feel the Universe is listening and ready to present me even more knowledge and teachers! I am so willing and grateful to receive!


Liara Covert said...

Sharing your lessons learned about your health situation is truly a moving story. Its wonderful that you have the courage and inclination to share it.

You may decide to read blogs like http://secondchancetolive.wordpress.com/ and stories such as those of Christopher Reeve, Morris Goodman and Lance Armstrong. You may realize people who seem to overcome the odds also have potential to become very engaging and inspirational public speakers. Something to consider as you promote your ebook.

Jenny Mannion said...

Hi Liara, I am grateful to have found a means to share my story and love that it is inspiring others. I am currently looking into public speaking opportunities and I thank you very much for the recommendations for reading. Gratefully, Jenny

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