Weeding My Thoughts to Plant New Seeds

It is wonderful (yet I'll admit a little scary) for me to be able to share something that I have considered so intimate for so long with my readers -- my poetry writing. I have posted 2 other poems on my blog; My "Happy Birthday Poem to Aaron Potts" of "Today is That Day" and the Dual Purpose Meme I Wrote "Jenny from A-Z -- 26 Things you Did Not Know About Me". The next poem is a little more serious and the idea came to me from a dream that I actually remembered (a rarity). I love gardening and working on my self-talk so this poem is a good reminder for me to keep on weeding! I hope you enjoy it and I welcome comments.

Weeding My Thoughts to Plant New Seeds

By Jennifer Mannion 07/08

I am weeding through

my thoughts

negative self talk

ugly words

that spread

as many weeds have

in the unattended

plot of dirt.

The big ones

come away easily

though tiring nonetheless.

It is these little ones

peeking out

now you see them

now you don’t

depending on the sun

rain,

the way the wind is blowing

that day.

I take hold

and pull

fully aware

and present.

They do come out

with effort.

I feel relief

at their release.

Time to plant

good thoughts

the flowers

to replace

the barren dirt

turned up soil

the result of

weeds removed.

Just seeds at first

but I see the picture

on the seed package.

I know they will ultimately

be exquisite.

I can visualize

in my mind’s eye

the awakening

to come

from deep inside.

The Universe provides

all the daily nutrients.

I express gratitude

for the constants.

The sun, water

air needed for survival

so fresh

given abundantly.

I am patient

mostly

as I wait for

new growth.

Anticipating

yet still pulling weeds.

Daily upkeep is necessary

to prevent

the weeds from threatening

impending beauty and

further development.

Finally I can see

they are coming

slowly it seems

at first.

Then suddenly

sprouting faster

than I could have imagined.

The absolute beauty of

the flowers

burst into life

colors, smells

everything feels new

when you look at

existence this way.

I feel the flowers

and myself

vibrating

with aliveness.

I enjoy

the magnificence

while understanding

there is still

work to be done.

Dead-heading

so new growth

can continue.

I give thanks

when I reflect on

the transformation.

The pure energy

and thrill I get

every time

I envision

the old weedy plot

and how far

it has come.

Since I am cognizant

of the weeds

they come less often.

There is less upkeep.

Growth will continue

as long as I am present, thankful.

How could I not be?

Change is

incredibly inspiring.

Patience is a Virtue

Patience comes in many forms. Patience as you wait in line or are stuck in traffic, patience when your computer or another item doesn't quite "work" the way you need it to, patience when you feel you are not being understood by someone else, patience with your children, patience when you are waiting for something you want to manifest and the most important of all is...patience with yourself. Patience is something I have struggled with for a long while. When I began to listen to my self talk during my healing process I realized I needed to change the messages I was telling myself in order to learn patience. I have improved dramatically in some areas of my life but there is still a-ways to go in other areas! Researching patience and WHY it is so important makes me all the more determined to keep on working on it in all areas of my life.

WHY is Patience a Virtue?

When you are being patient you are in the "now" and KNOW that being impatient will get you nowhere. When you are patient you are relaxed and are expressing the understanding that everything is fine and if you need to wait a few minutes (or years in some cases) -- there is a reason for it and it is okay. Patience is a virtue because with the world in high speed technology-wise you are CHOOSING to take a second and breathe. You are accepting the now and are appreciating the rewards you get for not being impatient. Patience is its own reward for it means you are tolerant, calm and will benefit from the situation at hand rather than get annoyed by it. Patience is a reward because by being patient you are letting go of judgment that something "needs to happen now". You are sending out signals to the world that "all is okay" and are trusting the Universe which only brings goodness to you.

Self-Talk & Patience

"To lose patience is to lose the battle"
-- Mahatma Gandhi

In my article Self Talk I talk about when you are stuck in traffic or a line how your self talk plays a key role in how you react. Being patient takes the presence on mind to stop and KNOW there is always a good place (a positive space) for your mind to go. Glaring at the checkout person will not move the line faster or make them any less stressed than they already are. Rolling your eyes at the person in back of you does nothing to help their mood. Telling yourself repeatedly you are going to be late if things don't speed up -- does not do anything to relax you or the people around you.

If you change the way you deal with things that pop up that require patience it will become a habit to use these techniques. When you are in a situation that requires short term patience whether it be the grocery store or being "held up"somehow.... try and change the way you are looking at the situation and your focus. Ask yourself how to deal best with the situation.... Have you been looking for time to think about your schedule, a gift idea or to figure something else in your life out? There is always something to think about that is more pleasant than brooding about time lost. Do the people around you look like they can use some positive talk to lighten their mood? You can use the time to connect with another person. Have you taken 2 minutes yet in your day to run through a "gratitude" list in your head? Feeling grateful for what IS right and good in your life is a sure way to shift any mood. I assure you that when you stop putting your attention on every second passing or how long things are taking -- time will move a lot faster.

If something "breaks" down or causes something to take more time -- it is up to you to use that time positively. It may be the Universe's way of telling you to SLOW Down! I would get so frustrated when my computer would freeze and now try to look at it as -- "it was time for a break anyway --I'll use the 10 minutes away to drink some water and refocus and when I reboot my computer it will run even better". Be grateful for having to stop and do a mental check in to see how you are feeling and then decide what is next.

What are the opposite traits of patience? Worry, impatience, intolerance, anger, anxiousness and sometimes even depression. While it is important to Appreciate Every Moment NOT JUST the Good Ones -- these are all emotions that are best not to dwell on for too long. If you begin to feel these emotions because of a situation that requires some patience -- there are ways to change your habits and your immediate reaction (especially in recurring situations).

Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" talk repeatedly of the importance of being in the present and The Tolle/Oprah free webinar provides helpful tips on moving in this direction. Take notice of the emotions that spring up when you are these situations and think of the reaction you want to replace it with instead. Putting that intention out there and KNOWING you want to change it is the first step. This is one area I HAVE been able to dramatically improve in my life and it did not take long or much to do it. It does require being conscious in that moment but there is lots to gain from this and makes for a much calmer living space.

"Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it."
-- Eknath Easwaran

Everything is as it Should Be

"Patience is the key to contentment"
-- Mohammed

Inventors truly understand the value of patience.... I look forward to sharing my whole journey with my readers but let me just say "it ain't easy". I have had lots of "waiting time" between research, development, re-development, legalese, etc. and all I can say is "thank goodness I have". Sometimes things take a seemingly long time for a reason. It is possible if you react quickly without knowing everything about a situation -- there could be disastrous results. I am so grateful my invention has gone in a VERY different direction then where it started. After 5 years of revisions and many lessons learned, I can honestly say that I am very happy with my team and the new avenues my project has taken!

If you want some ideas for strengthening your patience, you might read my post "5 Steps for Letting Go and Moving Forward". In the article, I highlight ways to be patient, trust and not live in the future but in the now. Maybe you have not "found THE ONE" yet because you need to get yourself in the right space first. Maybe you didn't hear if you got the job you wanted because there is an even better opportunity coming. The more we resist and put pressure on ourselves the more unhappy we will be. The more we learn to relax, trust and have patience the better it is for us and everyone around us.

Patience with Children

Children mirror what they experience. Anyone who is around children frequently knows there are times when patience is something you PRAY for! Yes, I have sat through 4 hour car rides with "are we there yet?" every 30 seconds. (The friend with us who was not used to kids did wind up with an emergency call to her psychiatrist after that -- but that's a whole OTHER story).... I have looked both kids in the eyes when something broke and had them repeatedly say "I didn't do it". I have repeated "Take your vitamin" 20 times and still had it sit there all day (hence the chore charts idea by Ray -- my husband -- GREAT ONE HON!). I have listened to Kidz Bop (Top 40 songs sung badly by kids) over and over and over again.... I can ask for no better lessons in patience than the ones my children offer me. ;-) Remember that with children the way you treat them is how they are learning to treat others. The more patience you show them -- the more they will pass onto others.

Patience with Self

Notice I saved my weakest link for last? ;-) Patience with self includes self love, self esteem and just cutting yourself some slack. I have said as a recovering perfectionist I am facing my toughest challenge yet. I continue to challenge myself and set new goals which is wonderful for my self esteem. I have faced some long time fears and overcome them which helps my self confidence. However I am still my toughest critic and know someday I will grant myself the kindness and support that I try and grant everyone else!

Patience with Self means accepting you will "make mistakes". You just have to trust that you will learn from each experience. Patience with yourself means loving and trusting in yourself unconditionally especially in the most "trying" times. Patience with self is love and tolerance of yourself and all others.

"Infinite patience brings immediate results"
-- Wayne Dyer

"Patience is the key to Paradise"
-- A Turkish Proverb

"If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow"
-- A Chinese Proverb

Patience is indeed a virtue. One that is well worth the work to achieve. Whether it be for those daily events that come up, for your long term goals in life, influencing children in your life or most importantly for yourself -- patience is a virtue that you can carry through every part of your life. It is not difficult and with a little awareness and shifting attention you can make yourself and everyone around you a lot more relaxed. Even if you accomplish switching your mood to patience one time out of the next 10 I can guarantee you have saved yourself a lot of undue stress and will feel wonderful for it. You might even consider making it a habit! ;-)

In what ways do you show patience? What are some of the skills you use to demonstrate patience?

Appreciate EVERY Moment NOT Just the GOOD ONES

I will begin with a poem by Rumi called "The Guest House":

This being human is a guesthouse
every morning a new arrival
a joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness
comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still treat each guest honorably
he may be cleaning you out
for some new delight!

The dark thought, the shame, the malice
Meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

This is one of my favorite poems and is posted in front of me between my computer monitor and my vision board. These are words that keep me sane through what might seem like "the end of my little world" at the time. It is so easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment, dramatize, and be so involved in your own despair, worry or anger that it spirals you downward. We have been taught that "bad things happen" and we react accordingly, often before we even have time to process the experience as a whole. Sometimes when we have gone over the same negative pattern of thinking so many times the initial problem becomes twenty times worse than it originally was.

You Can Learn from EVERY Emotion

EVERY moment and every emotion that you ever experience should not be judged harshly. If you judge and say things for example like:

"But I KNOW this should not have happened",
"They are so wrong -- how could they have done that to me?" or
"But they were PERFECT for me -- how could this relationship end?!"....

you are missing out on an important opportunity. Every experience can be learned from. Every strong emotion examined for cause and effect. Be grateful for the times that might seem the toughest because within you can find your greatest strength and learning experience. You stand to learn a lot about yourself and why your life is where it is at that moment when you are aware. Then you can fully experience life around you instead of letting it flow thoughtlessly on autopilot from moment to moment.

I have touched on this many times in "Do I Have to Be Positive ALL the Time for the Law of Attraction to work?" and in my several posts on consciousness. I was one to berate myself for feeling badly -- "But Jen, you study all this positive stuff -- how can you allow yourself to feel badly?" Now when I feel badly about a situation I ask myself different questions:

How AM I feeling? (What specific emotion)
What caused this? (Is it just this situation at hand or is there more baggage attached to it?)
What can I learn from this?
What can happen next that this turns out to be OK? (Just imagining the possibilities can bring a new calmness)

I then try and set a limit for the emotion if it is sadness, frustration, worry.... It is wonderful to process and feel fully a "negative" emotion but is not healthy if you just sit there and dwell in it indefinitely. There are techniques to "let go" if you find yourself hanging onto the negative emotion for too long.

There is also the issue that if you do not honor or process these emotions you will be creating blockages as well as not learning from the situation. When you do not learn from the experience -- history will repeat itself and you will be tested again until you learn the lesson. Even after you think you have learned that lesson it is possible that you will be presented with a similar situation again that will ensure you have mastered and know how to handle it. I recently encountered this and talk about it in my post, "5 Steps for 'Letting Go' and Moving Forward".

How Do You KNOW it Was Bad?

Tim Brownson is a fellow blogger that makes me laugh out loud he is so funny. I just got done reading Tim Brownson's book, "Don't Ask Stupid Questions? (There are no Stupid Questions)" and found a very relevant chapter "Had a Bad Day -- How do you KNOW?" Tim is also a life coach and I highly recommend checking out more on his blog, "A Daring Adventure " and his books. Tim has very wonderful, funny, genuine and insightful writing.

I am a BIG believer in "everything happens for a reason". KNOWING that can get you through just about anything. Even the most in tune intuitive does not know what will happen moment to moment and what it all means in the big scheme of things. How do you know your last relationship wasn't meant to end so someone better for you could come along? How do you know that job you "wanted so badly" wouldn't have made you miserable in 6 weeks? The truth is NO ONE can know why everything happens at the time it happens. I have seen first hand how looking at things this way produces new results and leaves you open to all the possibilities.

There are times when the reasons are easy to find when you examine the situation. When my husband took a job 5 hours away from the family it was easy to find SOME of the good in it; more money, more opportunity to sharpen skills, time to work on his websites and martial arts journal.... and some of the reasons are being revealed to us now.... he is making great contacts, he is able to reconnect with friends, I am getting my first alone quiet time (at night when the kids go to sleep) in 10 years..... Sure, I miss him and there are some times I get pretty sad about it and feel his absence greatly. What helps is allowing myself to be sad for that little while and also KNOWING we will be stronger for it as individuals and as a couple and appreciating all the things we are learning about ourselves and life in general through this process. I know there are lessons in this and welcome the experience instead of concentrating on how much I miss him which would make me miserable and accomplish nothing!

It is so important to "Listen to Your self-talk" when you are going through what might seem like a "trying" time. Are you in your old habits of telling yourself how bad things are and worrying or are you opening up to the possibility that you just MIGHT NOT KNOW EVERYTHING and maybe things are going this way for a reason?

When I was ill I was constantly telling myself how sick I was. I was worried about how tests would come out, I was busily making my next doctor appointments, I WAS my illness and therefore gave my body no time to be healthy. The way you talk to yourself, your reactionary habits, how you process emotions are all so important to your well being. Being "conscious" of your emotions and self-talk takes some time and you will have relapses (believe me I know). But as Mr. Tolle pointed out in the Oprah/Tolle Webinar on Eckhart Tolle's, "A New Earth", the lapses become more and more infrequent and farther apart. I am no Tolle but it is amazing how far I have come in the last 18 months. Once you are aware that YOU are the only one responsible for the "voice in your head" and start listening rather than letting the corresponding emotions or bodily reactions rule you... You will learn to appreciate ALL your emotions, know that they do in fact serve a purpose and celebrate every gorgeous (and not so gorgeous) moment this life has to offer you.

Are you Listening to Your Self-Talk?

I have written about self-talk a bunch of times because it was such an integral part of me healing myself. I was on auto-pilot for YEARS and just moving through my days without really listening to what my mind was saying. Oh, it said QUITE a lot and I HEARD it but I was not conscious of what the words and thoughts were doing to my body or how they affected me. I already wrote about how self-talk affected my pain levels and to read about that you can go here or read my e-book.

Today I want to talk about how negative versus positive self-talk can affect your life and how you can change it. When you are standing in line at a grocery store and you realize the person in front of you has an item that isn't ringing up and it will be a while -- how do you react? Do you calmly smile and say, "I hate when that happens -- it's Ok" and pick up a magazine or take the opportunity to think about your day and things that make you happy? When someone cuts you off driving maybe a little more aggressively than needed, do you say to yourself, "Wow -- they must be in a hurry?" and move onto the next thought. Or continue singing along with a good song on the radio? I think it's safe to say many of us have similar experiences to these or other things that might seem "not to go our way or cause distractions" almost daily. Only YOU can choose how your react to these situations and the messages you send yourself.

We all have knee jerk reactions to certain situations because they have happened a bunch of times in our lives and it is our habit to react that way. The great news is (most psychologists agree) it takes only 3 weeks (or 21 consistent days) of being mindful and changing your reaction to ingrain a new habit. I want you to think for a second about how you reacted to one of the above or a similar circumstance the last time it happened. If you reacted with calmness, clarity and the desire to focus on something happy -- GOOD FOR YOU! Most people will react to these situations with anger, impatience, frustration and some even despair.

So how do you begin to change your habits and your self-talk if you commonly have negative reactions to situations like these? I can tell you what worked for me.... Firstly I thought about the most common occurrences in my life that caused me stress and rationalized them. Let's take the grocery store example. If someone needs a "price check" or there is another reason for a hold up -- usually no one is happy about the situation. It means extra work for the check out person to either look up the item themselves or have someone help, the person it happened to is feeling stressed because they are "holding up the line" and the people behind in line are giving evil looks and looking at their watches wondering "how long it will take". Now let's look at the possible reactions.

You could get stressed and mutter under your breath, huff and puff
about running late and bring your blood pressure up a few notches.

You could show empathy to the person in front of you and the check out
person by saying "I hate when that happens -- don't worry about it I'm
in no hurry" which will probably get a smile or two and add a bit of relief.

You could stop and breathe, think about how best to use this unexpected
time and go on from there.

Your time is only wasted if you tell yourself it is – there is always a place to go in your mind to make the use of time more positive.

Currently I react the second and third way but for years reacted with hostility, frustration and worry over being late or "thrown off schedule". In reality, how much longer will it take? A few minutes? Wouldn't you RATHER spend that time productively or feeling good instead of feeling badly and upset about a situation that is brief and you have no control over? Wouldn't you rather relax the person in front of you and the check out person by commenting lightly and then think about something positive? Only YOU can make the decision to be mindful and to change the messages you are receiving.

Let's take the second example of the speeding driver because "road rage" is something a lot of people are guilty of. I grew up in NYC and because I grew up with public transportation and the fact that I walked everywhere -- did not learn to drive until I was 21. I did not drive daily until I was 29 and living in New Jersey (in my experience, THE WORST state to drive in). Road rage was something I had heard of but never experienced myself. WOW -- did I get my fill in the 5 years we were there! My husband and I even adopted the 3 A$%hole rule for ANY drive you took. Meaning every morning when I drove my son to preschool (4 miles but 20 minutes away with NJ rush hour traffic) I would count the A$%holes that cut me off and as I said, "#1" I would breathe and not get upset, the same with #2 and #3. After #3 I was allowed to get upset and it was time to get off of the road and pull in somewhere to take a breath and rejuvenate before I drove again.... and started off again with #1. It was a good temporary solution for us but in hindsight it still left us thinking negatively about people and did not put me in a good space at all considering most days my count was up to #3 and I was ready to blow!

What positive things can you say to yourself after being cut off? Firstly wish the person well. If they are in that much of a hurry to be aggressive they likely are not very happy, are rushing to get somewhere or are a very bad driver that will probably wind up hurt at some point. Putting the positive energy out there for that person and in your head lets you move on and feel good instead of letting your rage escalate about something that is over and done with. You can tell yourself to "let it go" that instant. Realize that the moment is over and refocus on finding a good song on the radio or appreciating the scenery in the world around you. You can also give yourself a mental pat on the back for your improved behavior and for listening to your POSITIVE self-talk!

To change your self-talk you need to be conscious of what you are saying to yourself. Making changes like this GREATLY affect your life. Positive self-talk reduces your stress level which in turn reduces your chance of illness and pain. What situations are recurring in your life that bring you stress and how are YOU going to change the messages you send yourself? No one can change the way you look at, perceive things and talk to yourself about ANYTHING besides you.

New Year's Resolutions -- Making them Stick

It's that time of year again. Right after we have finished eating, drinking and maybe being a little TOO merry over the holidays it feels time to evaluate the year. What do we want to change for next year? How can we not only set the intention of a resolution but MAKE IT STICK?

This is very special to me this year because it marks one year of declaring that I would heal myself. Now, a year later I am 100% pain and pain pill free and am tremendously proud of myself. I had my setbacks, I had my "hard times" sticking with my goals but I never backed down and am living the rewards every day. Now I will set my goals for 2008 and the main one is that 2008 will be to finances as 2007 was for my health.

I am reading and educating myself on how to best maximize the use of time and in the next few days will set specific goals and mini goals for achieving success. Yes, I also want to drop that holiday weight, exercise more, spend more quality time with my kids, husband, friends AND myself but all of these involve me working on my time management skills so that is where I am starting. I just received Tim Ferris's book "The Four Hour Workweek" for Christmas which came highly recommended to me from my friend Greg Butler at Holistic Personal Development. Thanks Ray (my husband) for the book -- as you know I can't put it down! : ) I am finding it to be wonderfully informative and expect great results after putting into practice all the ideas and useful challenges Tim Ferris puts out there.

OK -- so you now know what MY goals are but what are yours and how will you make them stick past January 10th? Here are some steps that ensure success:

1) Set Goals and MINI goals

I wrote about this before and think it is very important. If you set a HUGE goal like "I want to be in shape" but do not set mini goals on how to do that it makes it more challenging to stick with. For example I want to work on time management so I can figure out how to balance home, work, kids, friends, writing, exercise and "me" time. My first mini goal was to read the Tim Ferris book to get me in the right mindset. My second step will be to sit down and write mini goals for all these areas of my life. My third goal will be to apply the knowledge from the book to the areas of my life and to work out some sort of time window for each. Make them OBTAINABLE, LOGICAL steps to get to your final big goal and you will feel a confidence boost EVERY completed step of the way.

2) Don't Jump Ship if you get off Course!

Wow - this is a biggie. I am sure we all have either heard someone say or said ourselves a variation of the following: "Well I was doing well dieting but then I ate a whole pack of cookies so I am not on a diet anymore" or "I quit smoking but got stressed out and needed a few so now I am a smoker again". ALMOST EVERYONE will have set-backs when changing a habit. Expect them. If you are changing a habit you need to be patient with yourself, forgive yourself and give yourself more chances. When I was healing myself I had days when it seemed I got nothing but bad news and my negative self-talk would start up again. Soon after the aches would follow. Luckily part of educating myself was learning about mindfulness and I would tell myself "Ok Jen -- I know this seems bad -- but you have until tonight to feel badly then you will say your gratitude list and wake up better". It never occurred to me to return to my old ways because I was determined to see results and I knew and believed in what I wanted to achieve. Apologize to yourself, forgive yourself and try again.

3) Believe in Yourself -- Visualize the Outcome and FEEL the Gratitude for it
After seeing the movie "The Secret", reading Deepak Chopra and about the mind/body connection I KNEW I would heal myself. I imagined myself healthy, not going to doctors all the time, chasing after the kids with energy to spare, starting a career and seeing friends and family more often. I would close my eyes and visualize HOW WONDERFUL it would feel to be healthy and be able to accomplish goals. It only took a minute a day but the joy I got from that picture would last me all day. See yourself skinny and in that bathing suit, see yourself accepting an award, see yourself making money and the things you will do with it when you have it. Feel how that would make you feel. If you are getting "off course" it's time to visualize again and KNOW that the end result is worth any sacrifice you feel you are making.

4) Feel Gratitude for the Strides you are Making

Mini goals are great because you get to pat yourself on the back for each step taken. You also need to show yourself gratitude for ANY steps you are taking in the right direction. An example is you have said "no sweets" and you go out to a dinner party. Instead of having your usual 3 cookies you only have 1. Will you beat yourself up for that 1 you had or celebrate that you didn't grab any more? It is important to be GRATEFUL for the self control you did show. This offers you encouragement to keep it up, shows you have strength, builds your self confidence and shows that you are in control.

5) Educate Yourself on the Best Way to Achieve Your Goals
Have you set the same goal of working out more or losing weight every year and gone about it the same way only to fail? Have you set up a rigorous weight training schedule that you can't keep up with? Have you tried quitting smoking cold turkey and not been able to make it stick? Maybe you need a different approach.

There is SO much information on the internet about ANY goal you want to achieve. Do the research, find a DIFFERENT way for you to achieve your goal(s) this year. While educating yourself ask if what you are reading resonates within you? Can you see yourself sticking with yoga better than weight training? If you educate yourself you might even come up with "back-up" methods to achieve your goals. For example -- if you've always wanted to try yoga and aerobics set your intention to exercise using EITHER method that way if you don't like one you can try the other. Where I live there is a Free Exercise on Demand channel where you can try different workouts. The more options you have to achieve your goal(s) the less likely you will abandon it.

6) Pair up with a Buddy
Do you have any friends with similar goals? Any way you can help each other? Most of the times that I go for a walk and all the times I cross country ski it is with friends. Not only do I LOVE the time with my friends but it also is harder NOT to workout if you have a buddy that is counting on you as well. Similarly I recently became part of a Mastermind Group. It helps so much to set intentions, share ideas and have a support system. Every 2 weeks we meet through Skype and set an intention of what we hope to accomplish over the next 2 weeks. To set that intention helps me to keep my priorities and STAY on track. A GREAT place to meet people online, find a buddy or Mastermind Group and set some goals is Personal Development Partners -- Founded by Aaron Potts.

Whether you are trying to heal pain, gain success, achieve financial wealth, quit smoking, get in better shape, bond with friends and family, gain better time management skills or whatever other resolutions you are hoping to achieve -- I believe these steps will help you STAY on track. I wish you all the best for a happy, healthy and successful 2008! Remember only you control your own mind, thoughts and actions and if you BELIEVE you will ACHIEVE. Thank you Stacie for suggesting I write on New Year's Resolutions... it has been therapeutic and fun to reflect on the past year and set my intentions for 2008!

Breath, Consciousness and Staying Healthy

I have been studying about consciousness a lot lately. Anita Pathik Law from The Power of Our Way had a GREAT Community Call in Program on "Raising Consciousness and Taking Responsibility for Your Own Shift" last week and through it I met many others that were very thought provoking. Shifting into Consciousness used to sound so foreign to me.... but all it is simply is being in the moment. Being aware of what your mind is telling you and what your self-talk is saying. Being aware of the world around you and not moving through it mindlessly. Meditation or concentrating on your breath is one of the easiest ways to initiate this. Through the call in program there were many wise ways people used to bring them back to consciousness and relax their own minds from tools like gardening and dance to prayer or gratitude and many more.

Being given all this wonderful information lately has been very helpful as the holidays, feet of snow, child illnesses and heavy work load have been overwhelming me a bit. My good friend Alissa forwarded me the following video this morning -- she always seems to know when I need something even though she is far away from me in Miami! A GREAT way to start a Monday and exactly what I needed to bring me back to awareness. I've told Alissa several times that she is my guardian angel and once again she has proven it! She introduced me to my husband 13 years ago and she introduced me to The Secret which led to my healing. Thank you Alissa -- I am more grateful for you than I'll ever be able to say and miss you terribly! The following is a video of Prem Rawat/Maharaji talking about the importance of breath.

Through Anita Pathik Law's call in program I met someone who truly resonated with me when I heard her speak. Her name is Dr. Charlene Proctor and her website is The Goddess Network. She mentioned and has studied under Sai Maa of Humanity in Unity who is inspirational when it comes to centering, awareness and enlightenment. Following is a video where she speaks of how she sees enlightenment.

It is amazing for me to see the growth I have had during the last year and also amazing how far I have yet to go! ; ) Life is a journey and if you are bored, angry or experience a lot of negative emotions frequently you are definitely not living it consciously. When you begin to listen to yourself and quiet your mind you can start to see what you truly desire to be happy. You can set goals, make time for yourself and be aware of what is going on around you instead of being on auto-pilot. Everyone needs time to breathe and think about where there mind is in order to grow. If you are not controlling your thoughts than who is? Are you going through the day reacting as you have been programmed to do or are you living consciously?

I still have my moments that I am not proud of. Anger, frustration, worry and feeling overwhelmed sometimes can hit me hard. I am getting better of being aware when these emotions come up and naming them, acknowledging them and questioning why they are there and what to do with them. Negative emotions can be GREAT for noticing what you DON'T want but usually there is no benefit to staying in that space for too long. Negative emotions cause stress and stress leads to illness and un-wellness. I am trying my best when I do experience these emotions to breathe, work through what I am feeling and use my self-talk to turn things around. I love to get out and go for a walk when the weather and someone watching my kids permits but my fastest way to center is to be in quiet, breathe slowly and deeply and think CONSTRUCTIVELY instead of DESTRUCTIVELY. Other ways I turn my mood around and return to consciousness include putting on a song that I HAVE to dance to, calling a good friend, watching an inspiring video (like above), reading a great article or putting on Deepak Chopra's audio "Soul of Healing Meditations". My friend and fellow blogger Greg Butler at Holistic Personal Development has a lot of GREAT articles on consciousness that I highly recommend.

During this time of year it is easy to get off track and to have emotions get the better of you. It doesn't mean it has to be permanent and you don't have to let them control you or ruin your day. Take notice of them and figure out WHY they are there and what you can do to change them. Take the time to breathe, be conscious and recenter and you will feel better and be much more likely to STAY healthy during the end of the year rather than letting stress wear you down and make you ill.

Victim of My Own Mind

I haven't written more this week because I have been ill. It is the first time I have been "sick" since I healed myself of chronic pain. I have all the symptoms back I used to have daily which is flu-like (aches, dizziness, nauseousness, loss of appetite, general lack of energy). It has been a real "wake-up" call to me.

While better for the last 10 months I have been putting enormous amounts of pressure on myself to "make up for lost time" and to be the superwoman I always have striven to be. I have wanted to succeed in all areas of my life and have been putting an enormous amount of pressure on myself to do it all NOW. I have been slacking on meditation and some of the tools I used that helped me the most due to "no time". What could be more important than time for my mind to clear and focus?

I read Steve Pavlina's latest post and that was another wake-up. He has been ill as well and has been using the time to assess. I will do that as well. This is obviously a call from my body for help and I intend to listen. I will reapply my methods adopted the first time I healed myself and make more of a conscious effort to keep those practices daily in my life. I will attempt to "let myself off the hook" of all my to-do's and concentrate on my top 3.

Even when you think you have it all figured out there are times needed to reassess. I was not stopping to listen to my mind because I was too bogged down in the day to day challenges life has been throwing at me -- and my body reacted to get my attention. I have faced some serious challenges in my personal life this week and have not taken the mental time to figure out ways I can deal with them constructively and what I can learn from them. Instead I have felt sad, preoccupied, a bit lost and disconnected. I will take this weekend to relax, think, meditate and look forward to coming back to my blog next week with peace and determination and I will try and leave the perfectionism behind! : )

"Can Self-Talk Heal Pain?" by Jennifer Mannion

When I decided I wanted to self heal pain relating to all chronic illnesses that I had lived with for the last 6 years -- I had to take a serious look at my thoughts and behaviors. I had to listen closely to my own "self-talk" that was so ingrained I was shocked when I HEARD what I was actually telling myself.

I would wake up every morning telling myself "I feel so sick", "Why me?", "I wonder how I will get through this day.", "I'll never be able to keep up with the kids", "I'll never be able to clean the house", etc. etc. Then I found "The Secret" and the Law of Attraction and it all made sense. I was telling my body to be sick and it was obliging. The Law of Attraction says "Energy flows where attention goes" and I was concentrating on my illnesses and pain so much I was actually making it worse.

So can your self-talk heal you? Yes it can! It will make you feel liberated after only a few days if you are able to keep with it. I put a rubber band around my wrist and actually snapped it when I found myself thinking those negative thoughts about my health. I acknowledged that those thoughts were there but told myself I would feel better by thinking more constructively. What did I switch it to? I started by finding whatever LITTLE part of my body didn't hurt. Be it my little finger, my toes -- with fibromyalgia and chronic mono some days it felt like those were the only parts that were pain free. Anyway, I would concentrate on that one part and feel deep inside THANKFUL for being healthy and for that part being pain free. I would say in my head "I am thankful for my health". After only a few days I felt the difference.

It pays to listen to your self-talk. Are you saying positive things to yourself? Encouraging yourself or discouraging yourself? Saying and concentrating on what you want or what you don't want?

I used this and several other methods to heal myself from chronic pain and ALL my chronic illnesses which I document in my ebook. If you want to find out more about me please visit my website: http://www.thankfulformyhealing.com